Cast of Characters

Who exactly are these strange characters? And what are they doing in my house? On my monitor? Eating my breakfast? Oh dear…I’ll try to fill you in a little, if you’ll bear with me. This isn’t exactly easy, you know. Sometimes it’s best to mind your own business.

Flying Man

Why, it's our friend, Flying Man!

Flying Man is our host and primary narrator. He loves to rock. When he is hungry, he turns to the preparation of fine food. And of course, he flies. Eternally optimistic, he appears to be a little…dense. His smile, however, hides a depth of feeling we cannot ever hope to comprehend.

Mr. Stinky

Oh dear, Mr. Stinky, I believe it to be true.

Mr. Stinky is a fuzzy, brown bone who cannot speak. As if to compensate, he has developed an array of terrifying powers: mechanical ingenuity, telekinesis, audio amplification, flight, and even the power to shape the very world we inhabit. Consequently, Mr. Stinky should be considered highly dangerous, and avoided at all costs. This does not seem to concern Flying Man, who is all too happy to use him as a couch.


That's...quite a large elephant.

Robinson is a large elephant with a great love for cookies. Shortly after consuming an entire tree’s worth, he met up with Flying Man and Mr. Stinky, and before long was pulling their house across the snowy mountains. At one time, he was chained to a plow by the Puffs, turning the earth in preparation for a crop of some sort. He was freed by Harbor.

Alabaster and Persimmons

But what exactly ARE they?.

Collectively, these two are known as “The Puffs.”  They were tending the cookie tree, preparing for a harvest that was sure to be bountiful. Only something went wrong: Robinson ate the cookies. Enraged, they tracked him to the mountains, where they separated him from his companions and eventually sold him into slavery.

Harbor (and companions)

Riiiight. The belly and eggnog count as characters.

Harbor is a male loon in breeding plumage. He lives in the land of snow and ice, and operates under the delusion that his belly and the bottle of eggnog he keeps by his side are separate entities. Characters, even. Harbor’s speech is peppered with colored letters and noises. Imagine his “hmmph!” as a descending, grunt-hum, if you will.

Platy the Platypus

He's got a thumpity-thump, and a stompity-stomp. And a smackity-smack.

Platy is a platypus, of course. He used to live in a house by the mountains, but left for a long vacation. When he returned, he found only a hole in the earth where once had stood his beloved home, tracks leading away into the distance. He cried. He shook his tiny, non-existent fist. And he swore in his heart he would make the thieves pay.


Teddy smash!

Teddy is a bear. A very large bear, in fact. He spends much of his time sleeping. He has the potential for great violence, but is mostly content to abide peacefully. He does not speak often. He was first met by Platy, who ran into him with a stolen can of beer.

The Dolphins (and Friends)

Think of the dolphins. Please.

The Dolphins and Friends are crackers. Cheese crackers. They were inspired by a snack that used to be available in the US, but has since been discontinued.

The Whale

I don't know how it happened. Promise.

The Whale is the offspring of two whale crackers. His size is immense. Oh, and he can fly.